Editors note: If you or anyone you know are contemplating suicide Southeast Mental Health located in La Junta is staffed with professionals that can help. The phone number is 719-384-5446.
Of course always call 911 if in immediate danger.
Statistics show that nearly a million people worldwide commit suicide each year. Each year in the United States, the number totals 30,000.
And the Fowler community isn’t immune. In the last month, two families – the family of Tara Cesar, 36, and the family of Michael Alvey, 30, have dealt with the ugly face of suicide.
The loss of a loved one under any circumstances is never easy. For a parent, the loss of a child is unimaginable.
On Nov. 19, Anna Cesar, mother of Tara Cesar, experienced the most devastating news a parent can receive. Cesar received word that her daughter was found dead of an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound in her Fowler home.
“There is only one word to describe her, and that’s beautiful,” Anna said.
Anna became a mother at a very young age, making Tara what Anna referred to as a “family project.” Tara had many people in her life that loved and nurtured her.
Tara was born and raised in Pueblo and moved to Fowler four years ago.
Tearfully, Anna remembered a childhood antic of her daughter Tara.
“During her teen years, we were at King Soopers shopping and the store alarm was set off as we left, it was her belly button ring. I didn’t even know she had her belly button pierced until then,” Cesar said.
“Tara was tiny in stature but she had a big heart, she would give you the shirt off her back. She was strong-willed, not afraid to speak her mind or stand her ground, ” Anna added.
“There were many times she would call and ask me what I was doing. I knew she had some activity planned for us, so I would simply ask, what do I need to wear?”
“One of our last outings was a hike. We stopped at a beautiful spot, talked and had a great day. That is the place where I will spread her ashes,” Anna said tearfully.
Anna is raising three of her grandchildren, one of which is named after her daughter Tara.
“Little Tara is 3 years old, her personality and even her facial expressions remind me so much of my Tara,” Cesar said.
Everyday Anna struggles with questions of why— why did this happen, why didn’t I see it, what could I have done to prevent it?
“There were things I found out about Tara the day she died that I had no idea of. If I could offer one word of advice to people who are aware of a problem with a friend or family member, it would be share that information with people that can intervene and help. No one should have to go through this,” Anna said.
According to Anna, there was a note left by Tara, one that she has read over and over with hopes of finding a glimmer of an answer as to why.
With a lifetime of questions left for the family to cope with, life must go on for those left behind.
To lay any rumors to rest, Tara had previously battled cancer but had no confirmed reoccurrence of the disease.
“The compassion and concern of the Fowler community has been overwhelming,” Anna said.