There’s another major scandal brewing in the Catholic Church, and intrepid reporter Tim Townsend of Religion News Service has the scoop. The scandal involves the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops’ “Fortnight for Freedom,” which began Thursday and will run for two weeks (a “fortnight”), ending on Independence Day.


There’s another major scandal brewing in the Catholic Church, and intrepid reporter Tim Townsend of Religion News Service has the scoop.



The scandal involves the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops’ “Fortnight for Freedom,” which began Thursday and will run for two weeks (a “fortnight”), ending on Independence Day.



The Fortnight for Freedom continues the U.S. Catholic Church’s protest of the Obama administration’s health insurance mandate that would force most religious institutions in the country to provide “free” abortifacients, sterilizations and contraceptives for their employees, even if those institutions are affiliated with religions that reject abortion, sterilization or contraception as immoral.



The Catholic Church and many other Christian and non-Christian groups are protesting because the mandate violates their First Amendment right to the free exercise of religion. Unquestionably it is scandalous and extremely offensive that people would dare to object when our all-wise and benevolent overlords attempt to deprive them of their religious freedom. It’s unimaginably worse when the protest goes on while our overlords are running for re-election. What audacity!



Bad enough as that is, it’s not the scandal that Townsend has uncovered.



What, you ask, could possibly be worse than religious institutions daring to stand up for religious freedom?



It’s religious institutions spending money on their fight to protect their religious freedom.



Oh, I know, it’s probably the most shocking thing you’ve ever heard of in your life — but it’s true. Not only is the USCCB sponsoring their Fortnight for Freedom, but the U.S. Catholic bishops’ allies and co-religionists are participating in it and even helping to pay for it.



In his earth-shattering expose, “Who’s funding the Catholic bishops’ religious freedom campaign?” (published by the Washington Post on Wednesday), Townsend interviewed Steve Schneck, director of the Institute for Policy Research & Catholic Studies at the Catholic University of America in Washington, D.C.



With Schneck’s help, Townsend was able to peer into the secret inner workings of the Catholic Church’s nefarious religious freedom advocacy.



Are you all sitting down? You are just not going to believe this!



“The Knights of Columbus are clearly one of the major sources of funding (against the mandate), as well as other fraternal organizations,” according to Schneck.



Noooooo! Not the dreaded Knights of Columbus and their albino Ninja monk assassins!



Oh, sorry, it’s Opus Dei that has the albino monk assassins. The Knights of Columbus are the guys who sell Tootsie Rolls and life insurance and host bingo games and fish fries. But the K of Cs do wear pirate hats and carry swords, so you can understand why I got them confused with the Opus Dei monk assassins.



Excuse me for a moment, someone has just handed me a note.



Ah, I see. Opus Dei doesn’t have any albino Ninja monk assassins either. Well, you live and learn. …



Anyway, no one would have ever suspected Catholic organizations of supporting USCCB-sponsored activities, so I think we all owe a debt of gratitude to Townsend and Schneck. They have revealed the part played by the Knights of Columbus in support of the U.S. bishops’ dastardly, partisan efforts in defense of the right of American citizens not to engage in private financial transactions that violate their religious beliefs.



True, patriotic Americans just won’t stand for people exercising and defending their right to freely exercise their religion.



Jared Olar may be reached at jolar@pekintimes.com.