There are two types of people in this world: People who opt out of Valentine's Day by saying it's a naked conspiracy to get people to buy crap they don't need, and people permitted to roam freely in polite society. Look, everyone knows Valentine's Day is a little hokey, but it's also one of those things adults just have to suck up and do for the people they care about, like asking "How was your day?" or pretending a preschooler's construction paper scribbling is the finest art they've ever seen. The conundrum, though, can be figuring out what to do for such a holiday, especially since it's very hard to make someone fall for that "Free foot rub!" coupon trick twice. Nobody ever follows through on the foot rub!

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Luckily you have the fine folks at TV Guide to help you out. There are two types of people in this world: People who watch TV, and people who... wait. What are we at now, four types of people? Anyway, the point is that just about everybody watches TV. So if you're so desperate as to even THINK about buying a heart-shaped box of candy from the drug store or a pair of "cute" boxers, slap yourself in the face and then consider one of these TV-inspired gifts instead for people who love everything from Bob's Burgers to Bird Box, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel to Stranger Things and beyond. These suggestions here will make you look infinitely more creative and thoughtful than just phoning it in with roses, and might even land you a coupon from your bae for [boom chicka wow wow] you can actually redeem. Check out the gift ideas in the gallery!

PHOTOS: The TV-Lover's Valentine's Day Gift Guide