Just before the holiday break I think it is important to talk to you young people about the use of good grammar in your daily life. It would be easy for me to over emphasize the importance of good grammar. I could say that, "Bad grammar is the leading cause of unemployment in today’s economy," or, "Without good grammar you won’t get that new I-pad or those $200 Sneakers that you have been pushing your parents for."
The truth is that grammar is not the most important thing in the world. The possibility that there might not be an NFL season this year is the most important thing in the world.
But as we all know, grammar is still very important in the long run. For example, suppose you graduate and are being interviewed for a job as the manager of a large clothing store.
Your prospective employer asks you if you have any managerial experience, and you answer: "Well, I have never actually ever supervised no actual employees or nothin’, but I got a bunch of friends who I like to try on hats with." If you answer in this manner, the interviewer will probably realize that you weren’t the captain of the schools debate team and that you have ended your sentence with a preposition.
What you should have said was "several friends with who (m optional) I like to try on hats. As a result, you will not get the job because managers have to use good grammar when they get on the intercom to tell customers about sale items.
I have had people over the years ask me many questions about the rules they should follow when it comes to good grammar. Some of the more important rules I try to follow are: Rule 1- I before C or when followed by T, with the exception when used in a predatory conjunction.
Rule 2 – The word ‘me’ is always incorrect. We usually learn this rule at a young age when we ask a question such as, "Can Vernon and me put the cat in the dryer on high for 10 minutes?" And our mothers would say, "You mean can Vernon and I put the cat in the dryer for ten minutes? Yes, but be sure to put the setting on fluff dry and always remember use good grammar, boys."
Rule 3 – Never split your infinitives. An infinitive is the word "to" and whatever comes right behind it. Splitting an infinitive is putting something between the "to" and the other words. (This rule can come in handy for those of you young people out there that don’t graduate). For example, this is incorrect: "Hey man, you got any, you know, spare change you could give to like me?" The grammatically correct version is: "… like some spare change you could like, give to me?"
Another important tip for all you young people - are you still paying attention young people? Remember it’s better to be seen than heard.
Think before you speak and always use correct grammar, you’ll impress your prospective employer and maybe even your parents. Sincerely though, all you young people have a great like return to school or your virtual classroom. And as they say, "God help us, to like, everyone."